A little tiny update and a gigantically huge thank you

I leave for Argentina in 1 week and 2 days.   

Ready for this? 

You've given $3,010.  You've donated 50+lbs of supplies that I'll be packing very tightly into my second bag.

I don't know why I'm surprised.  You are amazing people.  God is even more awesome.  But I am in awe.

With the extra money you've donated, we get to build a new closet for the kids and do some much needed backyard patio work.  We get to buy new sheets and bedding for the kids.  We get to do an hour craft and bible story every day we're there.  We get to take the kids and staff out to lunch and to a movie.  Not one cent of the gifts you've given will go unused. 

I am grateful.

And people keep asking me if I'm excited. And that doesn't really describe what I am.  Yes, I'm a little excited and nervous but more than that I have a feeling of anticipation.  I'm ready to experience the ways God will continue to show himself. 

So, as I'm packing my bags (carefully) and preparing my heart, please remember to pray.  Specifically for travel and safety, but mostly for God to work through us in unimaginable ways.

I will be using http://argentina-mission.blogspot.com/ to write about the trip and to keep everyone updated.

Thank you for your obedience to God's prompting and for your generosity.

Read More

These kids

The fundraising is over.  The money has been raised.  Tickets have been purchased.  But it's all just really beginning, isn't it?

I got this picture in an email today, it was taken on May 8th.

Look at these faces, all 26 of them (even the one hiding).

These are the faces your donations are helping.  These are the faces you've been praying for. They're smiling.  As if they're saying thank you, thank YOU.

These kids.

They already have my heart.

And love, yes, they need love.  I'll give them all that I've got.

But they also need things.  Like shoes. And coloring books. And toothpaste.  If you have some to spare, I'll gladly pick them up or pay for shipping.  Just email me at allyinargentina@gmail.com, or find me on Facebook.

27 days.

Read More

Finding beauty is what makes it worth it - My Messy Beautiful

My three year old, alone, is enough beautiful mess for an entire lifetime of this mama.

The dressing herself, the constant whining, the can I have a snack question every 76 seconds.

Exhausting.  But, gosh, she's beautiful. And messy.

In my 29, never 30 years, I've had a truck load of messy things happen to me. And a boat load of beautiful.

There are stories of death and divorce and sick kids and cancer and overcoming and miracles and joy through the pain. 

And honestly, when I heard about this project and thought about telling my messy beautiful, lots of those stories came to mind.  I've been through some stuff and thankfully back. 

I could tell you about my parents divorcing after 25 years and the miles of suffering and lies I sorted through. And the miles more of healing and closeness that resulted.

Or about the time I had cancer. And the doctors and the surgeries. And the screaming and crying and asking why. And the healthy road to recovery and amazing changes I've made.

But chances are, you've been there or somewhere similar.

It happens. It's life and it's messy. 

Finding beauty is what makes it worth it.  But finding the beautiful is also the most difficult thing to do, a hard place to come to, especially when you're in the midst of the darkness.

The thing is, I know where beauty can be found. By everyone, anywhere, always, forever, without fail.

In the ultimate story of messy beautiful, the only one that actually counts.

There was this baby born to change the world.  But in order to change anything at all he would have to die.  It doesn't get much messier.  Knowing your entire life's purpose is to die. 

Hanging on a cross, beaten and bloodied and naked and stabbed.  Why? Why endure so much pain and anguish?

Because you're worth it.  It's called love.  He did it to save you.

And if you believe that and believe him, you'll carry on forever.

And I know, I know I may not be following the rules. I get that this is too "faithy" for some. I'm aware that by writing this way, I sacrifice my chance to be "known"

All that stuff, it's messy.  But I'm okay with it.

Because just one of you getting this...that's beautiful.

Here's the glorious part.  We don't have to wait til we have it all together...because we never ever will. We get to take our divorces and our sickness and our pain and lay it at his feet.  He gets to take it and not erase it, but use it and grow us and change us for good.

We are the messy, but He is our beautiful.

So #carryonwarrior knowing your not alone.  That you have a savior who knows your messy and loves you all the way to beautiful again.

Read More

Can't stop, won't stop

I have to tell you, I've been thinking about writing this post for for about a week now. I've set down to write it at least 3 times and turned away.  The words just won't come.  I think partly it's because I'm in such awe at what God is doing...no not partly, that's completely why I'm speechless.

One uneventful Tuesday I nervously registered for a trip to another country to serve orphans.  I'm not kidding.  I was shaking as I clicked submit.   It was just a hundred dollar fee and it was refundable.  I could still back out of this.  And I thought about it. Who am I to think people care about me?  What reason does anyone have to support my passion? Then the money...isn't it always about the money?  I figured, I had 90 days to scrounge up the necessary funds.  And if I could just get 1/3 of it donated, I'd find a way to make the rest happen.

Matthew 8:26

*He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"* 

And on a Thursday I put my face and my voice out there, for you to watch.  And the response was overwhelming.  Fifty percent of my need was met in two days. 

No scrounging necessary. No backing out now.  All in.

Then I prayed the scariest prayer I've ever prayed in my entire life.  Scarier than the time I begged God to save my life.  More frightening than the time I accepted the fact that he might not. This...was and is, to me, more terrifying than all of that.

"God, I'm in.  I'll do anything you ask.  Anything."

Today, exactly 2 weeks after registering to go to Argentina.  My goal has been MET.

2,200 dollars.

How does that even happen?

Here's what I know.  God is close to the brokenhearted. Many of these precious children have experienced more suffering than you or I can even begin to fathom.  But God is there.  Whether I go or not. 

Me, I don't matter that much.

But God matters a lot.  God is all that matters.

And me, allowing myself to be used by God, me becoming a vessel for God's work, me taking that leap of faith with you and God on my side?

That's how $2200 happens in 2 weeks.

And I'm humbled.  Because really I'm not important.  But God is and He'll break every obstacle to see His work done.

Thank you for being a part of this.

Now, here's where it gets even better...yes, lots better.

I still have two fundraisers yet to come.  And you know where the money from those fundraisers will go, since my portion has been met??

TO THE KIDS!!!!  Yes, I'm yelling, I could not be any more excited.

You see, God provided all the money I needed to get my rear down there BEFORE the fundraisers.

Because now...

These children will benefit fully from every dollar taken in from this point on. 

That's just flat out incredible to me.   It's sort of like the time homeschooling A stopped pooping in her underwear and started using the toilet incredible.  But way way better.

We'll be buying supplies to take with us, like clothes and shoes and toothbrushes.  And we'll be doing daily Bible stories and crafts and games.  We're taking the kids to McDonald's and the movies.  They never get to do that. Can you imagine how excited they will be?  And we'll be encouraging and ministering and giving gifts to the staff.

So don't stop now.  We are just getting started.  There is still much much more to be done. 

Here's how this will work.

I have two wonderful, beautiful, Jesus loving friends who have agreed to hold a Thirty One party and an Initials Inc party and donate ALL of their profits to my trip.  I'm telling you, they're selfless.

Starting today, April 1st, you can go online and shop these fantastic products.  I have at least 5 Thirty One bags and I just got my first Initials Inc wallet.  I'm hooked.  So shop! You'll get a super awesome bag/tote/wallet and the orphans in Argentina get super awesomely blessed! 

But wait... before I give you those links...

 I will be in Charlotte, NC on April 6th for an actual in person Thirty One party and will be in GA on April 26th for an Initials, Inc party.  If you're local to either of those areas, please come!  You can see the actual products, test them out and ask any questions you have about my trip.  I'll also give you a really good hug.

Charlotte, NC peeps, you should have already received either a facebook, email or snail mail invite, some of you all three of those.  Remember to RSVP.  If you haven't received an invite and want to come, email me at allyinargentina@gmail.com. I cannot wait to see you on Sunday the 6th, bring your friends!

Atlanta, GA peeps, save the date for April 26th, times and location will be coming shortly.

And if you can't make either of those and absolutely must shop online click the links below.  You can still also make a tax deductible donation through the church.  That link is last.

Thirty One
https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E4388795&from=MYEVENTS


Initials Inc
http://www.myinitials-inc.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E123389&from=DIRECTLINK


Donate straight to the church by clicking here  (all will be applied to my trip when you select Argentina and type in Allyson Bonzo)


And before I go, I want you to know, that God is calling you to something too.  Big or small, you can do His work every day.  I dare you to say yes to God.  I dare you to go all in.

Read More

Do Something

Y'all...just....you all.

We were finishing up the second half of our trek from DC to GA today (longest car ride in the history of car rides ever) when I was playing working on my phone and decided to check my email.

DANG GIRL!!

Is the subject heading I see.  From the administrator heading up the Argentina trip.

Nervously I opened the email

and

Not kidding for one second at all.

In two days. Thursday. Friday.

Ready?

Wait for it.

The total donations amount to...............(drum roll)..............

$1,010

Y'all!!!

That's just shy of 50% of my total need.

IN TWO DAYS.

If I wasn't clear on my calling before, I cannot deny it now.  I just can't. 

I cried tears of humility and gratefulness as we trudged down I85.

My pastor said it best a few weeks ago "Wealth that is surrendered to serve God rather than replace God is blessed by God."

Thank you for surrendering. 

But it's not over.

If you didn't get a chance to donate the first time, there is still plenty of time.  Just click here .

(and please tell everyone you know!)

And Homeschooling A wanted to help me thank YOU.  

Read More

Because You Were Made For More

DONATE HERE!  (Total Needed $2200)

-Create an account or register as a guest
-Fill out the form and select Argentina as the trip
-Enter my name, Allyson Bonzo
-Enter the amount you'd like to give.
-Give yourself a high five and a big hug from me!

If you'd rather mail a check or have any questions, email me at allyinargentina@gmail.com


Read more of Ann Voskamp
www.aholyexperience.com

Jennie Allen's Restless
Restless: Because You Were Made For More

Finally, Oceans by Hillsong United
Oceans

*Correction: over 1900 babies are born each DAY in Argentina, not each year. It is true though that half of those babies are born into poverty*

Read More

Drive a Stake

 I didn't used to be this way. At least not this bad. A wishy washy person.  A difficult decision un-maker. But then I was diagnosed.

Death got real.

And the ability to take a stance has all but vanished.  And even though my diagnosis is gone too, a trail of fears has been left behind.  Real fears I didn't have before. And all of these fears?  They make me second guess if I'm ever doing the right thing. 

I've been juggling a few different decisions lately, but all with the same uncertainty.  I was thinking, as remnants of dinner lay crusted over on the stove and dirty laundry spilled from the hamper onto the bathroom floor, is it ironic that the name of my blog has actually come to fruition in my life?  Do I still cherish all this uncertainty? When life got tough, did I remember that the one and only God allows uncertainty in our lives so we have to trust him?  Or did I let fear and the unknown drive me away?

I leaned into God more than I ever have while I thought I had cancer.  I praised His holy name when healing arrived.  But in the aftermath, an explosion of "what if's" and guilt have been allowed to rule.  I'm afraid of not knowing how much time I have left and afraid of ultimately making a decision where I can't control the outcome. I feel guilty if I slack off in an area I know I should have the motivation to succeed.

Most recently I've been struggling with my diet and exercise and with what to do with my baby girl come time for Pre-K...in the fall. Gah. 

I'm addicted to coffee, and I feel guilty when I drink it. I think what if my cancer comes back and I know I could have been eating better, cleaner?  Will I regret my choice to drink coffee even though I knew it was unhealthy? Or that chocolate bar or that whole grain chip or that bowl of cereal?

What if I homeschool preschooling A and then have another baby and officially lose my mind? And preschooling A heads to kindergarten knowing less than she knows now?

What if I don't live an alkaline lifestyle and cancer is actually what kills me?

What if I put preschooling A in a Pre K program and then feel guilty for not keeping her at home?

During a particular nap time last week, as I'm trying to figure this all out, and things around me seem to be falling apart and I had given in and gone to that coffee place that starts with star and ends with bucks (I blame the drive thru) and ordered something with over 300 calories in it and then proceeded to come home and dump an entire box of uncooked macaroni noodles on the floor (thank goodness for dogs, I hope you don't choke), I stopped in my tracks, sat down and called Mom.

Mom is, and she will admit, a little crazy.  Who's mom isn't?  But Mom is also full of wisdom that I desperately need.

After crying and yelling and unloading my fears, she says,

"You have to drive a stake."

And she tells me a story about how every morning her husband puts 10 tootsie rolls in a plastic bag for her and she knows that once those 10 are gone that day, she can't have anymore.  But, she can eat those 10 without feeling guilty.  See...a little crazy.  But her point hit home.

You have to make a decision, set a boundary, and don't look back.

Drive a stake.

People do this all the time.  There's a blog I've recently read about a mama who has decided her family won't eat any more processed food.  Decision made, no regrets.  Or the stay at home mom who decides not to go back to work. Stake driven, no looking back.

In my own life, we don't do high fructose corn syrup of any kind in any thing.  We sit around the dinner table as a family, every night. We pray together every day. Husband R and I always kiss goodbye. We read our Bible. We allow ourselves to drink wine, on the weekends and some Mondays. These are stakes we've driven, without even realizing it. 

And the ultimate stake, don't miss this, was driven when Jesus was nailed to the cross.  When God gave us His son and forgave us. One would think that would be a big regret, seeing how often we sin against Him. But it's not. He loves us so much He allowed that stake to be driven, into his own flesh. To take the punishment we deserve, all with no regrets.

 

I'm doing better with this.  I'm driving more stakes.  Making more decisions.  Preschooling A will be staying home with me. I'll be her teacher, new baby or not.  Should we call her homeschooling A now?

Star to the bucks is only allowed on Saturdays.  And one cup of homemade coffee per day.  That's it.

Grains and dairy are allowed in my diet again as long as they are organic and in moderation.

Exercise...eh..I think I lost that stake along with all of Husband R's phone chargers and my keys.

And sure, these boundaries will move and change as life does, but as long as I can say to myself, this decision has been made, your limit has been set, then hopefully there won't be the guilt and regrets. 

So what stakes have you driven?  Which ones would you like to?  I'd love to hear about what you're facing too!

Read More