I'm running to your arms

photo courtesy of amazon.com

The author of this book (Sandra Boynton) may not be sure what it is, but I know what it is.

It's me.

Today.

After a week with Rob out of town and a poop ton of volunteering and a 30 hr child filled work week (yes, that's a lot for a supposed stay at home mom)

Frazzled.

Then, unexpectedly, without notice, I de-frazzled.

Phillipians 4:7 says "Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down."  (The Message)

So after work and an hours worth of grocery shopping, toddling A and I went to dinner with Dad..  We had to drive separate cars and meet at the restaurant though because...well because, that's our life.  But when dinner was finished and we were leaving, I asked my oh so loving husband if he would drive Avery home and let me take his car.  He obliged, because he loves me that much.

And that's when it happened.



The windows down, the radio on, traffic cruising at just the right speed, and a sense of God's wholeness blowing through the car, my entire body, coming to settle me down. Out of just a 30 min drive home. I didn't want it to end.

Read this, or you can listen to it here if you want:

"You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God
Of all else I'm letting go"

In your presence I'm made whole.  Really.  WHOLE.  Not,  a piece of me is mom, a piece of me is wife, a piece of me is nanny, a piece of me is trying to plan a yard sale, a piece of me is volunteer, a piece of me is captain of my softball team. 

In your presence I'm WHOLE. 

Not pieces.

I don't know about you, but I need to be made whole. And all we have to do is let God know.  Tell him our concerns.  Ask him to forgive us, admit we're reckless and burnt out.

And know that He is God.

And then let go.

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Practice what He preaches

"Share your toys, we keep our hands to ourselves, we do not stick things in our diaper, we love our friends, do that one more time and you'll be sorry."

This is my daily mantra.  Really, I'm like a recorder on repeat.  Well, maybe not the sticking things in your diaper comment, that, thankfully only happens every now and again.   Those words though, come with the territory of being a mother and a nanny.  Or even just a parent for that matter.  We tell our kids to share, we tell them to be nice to their friends, we tell them to forgive, we teach them that if  they hurt someone to say sorry, and if someone hurts them, to show grace.

After spending a week with my niece (7) and nephew (4), I realized just how much we drill these things into our children.  But at some point in our growing up, it suddenly becomes okay to only share in certain circumstances, to only say sorry if it makes you feel better, to only forgive when the offense is small.  When in our upbringing does the old "Do unto others" saying (aka Matthew 7:12)stop ringing true?  The Message translates it best, ""Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them..."

A simple rule. A guide for behavior.

Last time that neighbor came over to borrow your best tools, did you share, or just give them the old crusty ones you have lying around?  When your friend showed up late or cancelled your last date, were you nice about it?   When that old man cut you off in traffic just to drive 5 mph below the speed limit, did you show him grace?  What about that family member who so deeply offended and hurt you, did you forgive and turn the other cheek?

When's the last time you said you were sorry?

Toddling A told me she was sorry this afternoon.  I can't remember the last time I said it, except for maybe that "casual I don't really know or mean what I'm saying sorry" when you bump someone in the grocery store with your cart.  Yeah, not what I'm referring to.

Toddling A, without a second thought, forgave me today after I yelled at her out of frustration.  And I struggle to forgive when someone I don't even know is rude to me. 


Forgiveness isn't about admitting that what the other person did was right, forgiveness sets YOU free.

Forgiveness lets you get on with your day, on with your life.

Whether you believe in God or not, we can't deny that all these are behaviors and actions we want our children to model. Nobody says to their child, "hey be mean to that kid and don't share anything with him."  No, we want our children to be upstanding, well accepted children.

But the truth is, sharing and being nice and showing grace and extending unconditional forgiveness, those are all characteristics of Jesus.

Yep, that guy, the one who made us in his image.  The one who commands us to follow in his footsteps.

So my question is, how can we ask and expect such things of our children if we can't, ourselves, do the things Jesus expects and asks of us?

Let's start living up to His expectations and just maybe our children will follow.

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50,000 Feet

I run but I've never considered myself a runner, until two weekends ago, and even then, not the kind of runner you would think.

Every organized race I've run tells you not to run with your ipod, they say for safety reasons.  Especially in a race as big as the Cooper River Bridge run, with thousands of people pushing around, over and through you as they run.   But alas, all but those who actually win (ahem, the kenyans, ahem) run with music blasting through their skulls.  Let's face it, running is mental and if you can force every thought of pain, thirst and hunger out, and replace it with "R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me!" you might just stand a chance at crossing the finish line, in one piece mind you. Really, there have been some days I decide not to run because my ipod is dead. No judging allowed.

But as I was running the lovely 4% incline for 1.5 mile trek up and over the bridge, I decided to take my headphones out. And when I expected to hear silence, or at least my own huffing and puff puff puffing, what I heard was DEAFENING.  Close to 50,000 feet, or pairs of feet, hitting concrete.  I've never heard anything like it.  You can't hear anything else, period. Just pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat...forever.

And then I got this thought. Like a charlie horse to the brain.


I trained for months to run this race. I spent over $300 to make the weekend possible. I woke up at 4:45AM to make sure we arrived to the starting line on time.  I stretched, I prepared, I studied, I made it a priority.  All for a race that took me

just ONE hour

to complete.

50,000 other people did the same.

Think about that. 50,000 people doing the exact same thing, at the exact same time.  For what?  Personal accomplishment, health and fitness, to prove to their friends they could???

Then I heard the feet again.

Will it sound like this when Jesus returns?  

What if this many people put forth the same amount of passion and energy into seeking Jesus as they did into this race?  What if 50,000 people made HIM a priority?  What if they were all wanting to persevere to the only finish line that matters?

I know the Bible lays out a very graphic picture of what the end times will be like, what we will hear and what we will see, and no the sound of running feet isn't one of them, but at that moment, as I listened to thousands upon thousands of people run, I couldn't help but think, or HOPE that running feet is what we'll hear.

I got a glimpse of that on Easter Sunday.  And while we may not have had 50k people attend, there were definitely thousands that showed up to hear the truth about Jesus' resurrection.  I'd say that's a start, leading to a promising finish.

I consider myself a runner, do you?

Look past our family photo, at all the people, and this was an hour before the service began!

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