Finding beauty is what makes it worth it - My Messy Beautiful

My three year old, alone, is enough beautiful mess for an entire lifetime of this mama.

The dressing herself, the constant whining, the can I have a snack question every 76 seconds.

Exhausting.  But, gosh, she's beautiful. And messy.

In my 29, never 30 years, I've had a truck load of messy things happen to me. And a boat load of beautiful.

There are stories of death and divorce and sick kids and cancer and overcoming and miracles and joy through the pain. 

And honestly, when I heard about this project and thought about telling my messy beautiful, lots of those stories came to mind.  I've been through some stuff and thankfully back. 

I could tell you about my parents divorcing after 25 years and the miles of suffering and lies I sorted through. And the miles more of healing and closeness that resulted.

Or about the time I had cancer. And the doctors and the surgeries. And the screaming and crying and asking why. And the healthy road to recovery and amazing changes I've made.

But chances are, you've been there or somewhere similar.

It happens. It's life and it's messy. 

Finding beauty is what makes it worth it.  But finding the beautiful is also the most difficult thing to do, a hard place to come to, especially when you're in the midst of the darkness.

The thing is, I know where beauty can be found. By everyone, anywhere, always, forever, without fail.

In the ultimate story of messy beautiful, the only one that actually counts.

There was this baby born to change the world.  But in order to change anything at all he would have to die.  It doesn't get much messier.  Knowing your entire life's purpose is to die. 

Hanging on a cross, beaten and bloodied and naked and stabbed.  Why? Why endure so much pain and anguish?

Because you're worth it.  It's called love.  He did it to save you.

And if you believe that and believe him, you'll carry on forever.

And I know, I know I may not be following the rules. I get that this is too "faithy" for some. I'm aware that by writing this way, I sacrifice my chance to be "known"

All that stuff, it's messy.  But I'm okay with it.

Because just one of you getting this...that's beautiful.

Here's the glorious part.  We don't have to wait til we have it all together...because we never ever will. We get to take our divorces and our sickness and our pain and lay it at his feet.  He gets to take it and not erase it, but use it and grow us and change us for good.

We are the messy, but He is our beautiful.

So #carryonwarrior knowing your not alone.  That you have a savior who knows your messy and loves you all the way to beautiful again.

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Can't stop, won't stop

I have to tell you, I've been thinking about writing this post for for about a week now. I've set down to write it at least 3 times and turned away.  The words just won't come.  I think partly it's because I'm in such awe at what God is doing...no not partly, that's completely why I'm speechless.

One uneventful Tuesday I nervously registered for a trip to another country to serve orphans.  I'm not kidding.  I was shaking as I clicked submit.   It was just a hundred dollar fee and it was refundable.  I could still back out of this.  And I thought about it. Who am I to think people care about me?  What reason does anyone have to support my passion? Then the money...isn't it always about the money?  I figured, I had 90 days to scrounge up the necessary funds.  And if I could just get 1/3 of it donated, I'd find a way to make the rest happen.

Matthew 8:26

*He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"* 

And on a Thursday I put my face and my voice out there, for you to watch.  And the response was overwhelming.  Fifty percent of my need was met in two days. 

No scrounging necessary. No backing out now.  All in.

Then I prayed the scariest prayer I've ever prayed in my entire life.  Scarier than the time I begged God to save my life.  More frightening than the time I accepted the fact that he might not. This...was and is, to me, more terrifying than all of that.

"God, I'm in.  I'll do anything you ask.  Anything."

Today, exactly 2 weeks after registering to go to Argentina.  My goal has been MET.

2,200 dollars.

How does that even happen?

Here's what I know.  God is close to the brokenhearted. Many of these precious children have experienced more suffering than you or I can even begin to fathom.  But God is there.  Whether I go or not. 

Me, I don't matter that much.

But God matters a lot.  God is all that matters.

And me, allowing myself to be used by God, me becoming a vessel for God's work, me taking that leap of faith with you and God on my side?

That's how $2200 happens in 2 weeks.

And I'm humbled.  Because really I'm not important.  But God is and He'll break every obstacle to see His work done.

Thank you for being a part of this.

Now, here's where it gets even better...yes, lots better.

I still have two fundraisers yet to come.  And you know where the money from those fundraisers will go, since my portion has been met??

TO THE KIDS!!!!  Yes, I'm yelling, I could not be any more excited.

You see, God provided all the money I needed to get my rear down there BEFORE the fundraisers.

Because now...

These children will benefit fully from every dollar taken in from this point on. 

That's just flat out incredible to me.   It's sort of like the time homeschooling A stopped pooping in her underwear and started using the toilet incredible.  But way way better.

We'll be buying supplies to take with us, like clothes and shoes and toothbrushes.  And we'll be doing daily Bible stories and crafts and games.  We're taking the kids to McDonald's and the movies.  They never get to do that. Can you imagine how excited they will be?  And we'll be encouraging and ministering and giving gifts to the staff.

So don't stop now.  We are just getting started.  There is still much much more to be done. 

Here's how this will work.

I have two wonderful, beautiful, Jesus loving friends who have agreed to hold a Thirty One party and an Initials Inc party and donate ALL of their profits to my trip.  I'm telling you, they're selfless.

Starting today, April 1st, you can go online and shop these fantastic products.  I have at least 5 Thirty One bags and I just got my first Initials Inc wallet.  I'm hooked.  So shop! You'll get a super awesome bag/tote/wallet and the orphans in Argentina get super awesomely blessed! 

But wait... before I give you those links...

 I will be in Charlotte, NC on April 6th for an actual in person Thirty One party and will be in GA on April 26th for an Initials, Inc party.  If you're local to either of those areas, please come!  You can see the actual products, test them out and ask any questions you have about my trip.  I'll also give you a really good hug.

Charlotte, NC peeps, you should have already received either a facebook, email or snail mail invite, some of you all three of those.  Remember to RSVP.  If you haven't received an invite and want to come, email me at allyinargentina@gmail.com. I cannot wait to see you on Sunday the 6th, bring your friends!

Atlanta, GA peeps, save the date for April 26th, times and location will be coming shortly.

And if you can't make either of those and absolutely must shop online click the links below.  You can still also make a tax deductible donation through the church.  That link is last.

Thirty One
https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E4388795&from=MYEVENTS


Initials Inc
http://www.myinitials-inc.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E123389&from=DIRECTLINK


Donate straight to the church by clicking here  (all will be applied to my trip when you select Argentina and type in Allyson Bonzo)


And before I go, I want you to know, that God is calling you to something too.  Big or small, you can do His work every day.  I dare you to say yes to God.  I dare you to go all in.

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